The Beautiful Face of Pain by Pedro Moreno
Why am I surprised that others caused me pain?
Haven’t I had pain since I can remember?
In fact, I have had pain my whole life.
Why have I wanted to run from pain my whole life? How could I be so naive to believe that I could be free from pain?
I have pain. Soul pain. I’ve always had it. And the terrifying realization a few moments ago is that I will always have pain. Soul pain. Which is the deepest and harshest kind of pain.
But I also realized a few minutes ago that pain is beautiful. Yes, as shocking as that may sound, pain ultimately is a beautiful thing to my soul.
As Brene Brown says, “Our capacity for wholeheartedness can never be greater than our willingness to be broken-hearted.” So, I realize, with a lot of trepidation, that if I want to live a wholehearted life I will need to have my heart broken, and remain broken.
And that is very painful.
But it is also beautiful.
I realize now, right now, that I need to accept the reality that people will hurt me, will fail me, will leave me. Will take my stuff. Will betray me. And I will do that to them as well.
Oh God, it sounds horrible. Cold hearted, miserable. But it is real. Even Jesus promised us that in this world we will have tribulation. And yes, we can take heart in Him because He has overcome the world. But pain and tribulation remain.
So, here I am, on this first day of Spring. With the realization that pain is beautiful.
Help me Abba. People say that if beauty will not change us for the better, pain will. I now realize though that it is not either or.
It is both. Simultaneously.
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